Forgiving those whom we have harmed in the past can be difficult. We look back at the situations that hurt us and are often unable to see past the damage that was caused to us. Holding onto the pain caused by another person can be dangerous in our sobriety, however, and impede us on our journey toward a happy and spiritual life. Resentments can fester if we don’t make an effort to let them go. Something that harmed us in the past can easily snowball into deep feelings of hatred, contradicting our goal of living a life of love and tolerance. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains, “resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physical ill, we have been spiritually sick.” With this in mind, we go on a fact-finding and fact-facing process, examining our resentments and finding what part we may have played in the harms that affected us. Usually we find that we were also at fault in the situation. We may realize that the person who harmed us was simply spiritually sick, as we once were, and we have no right to maintain ill-will towards them. When we gain a deeper understanding of the situation, we are placed in a position of being able to forgive. Attempting to clean up the wreckage of our past require that we don’t take into consideration the wrongs committed by the other person. According to the Big Book, we “resolutely look for our own mistake. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame?” We find that through this process, our hatred and resentments begin to slip away. Eventually, we go to these people in a spirit of love and forgiveness, paving the way for us to continue on our journey of recovery unburdened by the weight of hatred and negativity.
Your story can be one of forgiveness and progress. You can begin moving forward on the journey of recovery and start building a brighter future in sobriety by seeking help now. Oceanfront Recovery, a treatment center in Orange County, California, believes “when you change your story, you change your life.” Oceanfront’s compassionate and professional staff is dedicated to providing you all the tools needed to achieve and maintain lasting sobriety. For more information about treatment options, please call today: (877) 279-1777
