Trust is one of the first things to go when a loved one struggles with addiction. When trust is gone, it can be hard for you to trust that person again. While recovery is about picking up the pieces, for everyone else it is like trying to weather a storm and come out the other side in tact. Sometimes amends work and sometimes it takes awhile to feel like you are able to believe that person again, especially after all you likely have been through.
Impact of Addiction
Emotionally, the ups and downs of relationships in recovery, often create strain for everyone involved. Relationships change when drug addiction steals a loved one but recovery is all about recuperating some of the time lost and making amends for hurt caused. While the person in recovery is trying to make amends, you may be struggling with forgiveness. It is perfectly okay to wait awhile and see how the whole recovery plan pans out. You may or may not choose to stick around depending on how you felt the whole thing went and if you think the person is sincere.
Making Amends
How does a person go about making amends and saying ‘I’m sorry?’ Here are some hints that can be helpful to start making those amends and repairing broken relationships.
Move slowly
Make a list of people to touch base with and reach out any way you can. Be patient with yourself and loved ones. Give it time and space. Don’t rush or push things too early. Meditate on what to say and how to respond and be sure to think of their needs in the relationship, too.
Review the past
Do an honest assessment of the past and try to see it from others’ perspectives. Empathy is key to seeing how others feel which will help guide your apologies.
Accept responsibility
Put aside excuses and claim your role in the broken relationship. Own up to your words and actions while acknowledging you hurt someone with your behavior. Accept responsibility without blaming or shaming yourself or the other person, just be honest and courteous.
Have self compassion
It’s OK to admit mistakes happen but don’t forget that you are human and things do happen. This will take time but to move on, look others in the eye, apologize, and commit to being better. You can’t change the past but you can change how you behave now and in the future.
Set realistic expectations
Understand now everyone wants to review your past with you or reconnect. It is important to be clear about intentions and what you want but be mindful some people do not want to re-establish contact. Work on moving forward and take it slowly.
Oceanfront understands the challenge of making amends in recovery. We are here to help you make better choices and move your life forward. We will teach you recovery principles that will help you find ways of mending and healing your life and relationships with our caring therapists. Our serene setting will help you get focused on doing what is best for you. Call us to find out how we can help you get started. 877-279-1777
